Me and John Carpenter

The year was 1996 and I was making my way through New Mexico when I happened to stumble across a film crew shooting a film called, "Vampires".

I had met with one of the grips who asked me to watch the Buffet table while he went and grabbed, and I'm quoting here, "a pancake and a butt-plug."  I believe them to be grip references that I know nothing about.  However, it did make me wonder what kind of movie these folks were shooting.

As I sat, guarding the donuts and fruit display, I saw James Woods tied to a cross with a group of Vampires gathering around him.  The "Head Vampire" lured closer when, suddenly, a loud scream shouted, "CUT!"

It was John Carpenter.

He directed the "Head Vampire", who I now know to be Michael Ian Griffith, to attack James a certain way, while trying to grab some fancy cross that was put up next to James.

As the crew broke for ten minutes to set up the next shot, John came over to the table for a donut.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked, looking me up and down. "I'm not making a zombie movie."

Quickly, I thought of a response, so not to kicked off the set.

"Wardrobe malfunction. One the ladies just got done doing a zombie flick and got the wrong make-up on me.  Don't worry, they've put me in charge of the donuts, so not to throw anyone off in the film."

And John loves his donuts.

"What's yer name?" He asked.

I hadn't told the truth so far, why start now?

"My name's.... Phillip. Yeah. That's it. Phillip."  (A name I had used to write for a college paper in Cali.)


"Well, Phillip, you keep these donuts fresh and I'll love you forever."

And I did just that.

John and I swapped stories about our love for movies, donuts and Hunter S. Thompson.  Then, the AD came over and it was back to work.  I did my best to make sure the donuts didn't get any bugs or sand on them.

And if you've ever been to New Mexico itz a tricky thing to do.


Once they got done wrapping for the day, I gathered my things and kept moving along.  Before I left, John spotted me and came over.

"Hey, Phillip!"

"Yes, Mr. Carpenter?"

"You leaving us?"

"Yes.  Gotta a call from Australia. Said Keanu Reeves is making some sci-fi movie called "The Matrix" and Keanu needs his donuts."

John understood, having worked in the movie business for years.  He seemed a little saddened that I was leaving and bid me a fond farewell.

Over a decade later, I met John again at the Texas Frightmare Weekend Horror Convention. I brought a VHS copy of "Vampires" with me for him to sign.

After waiting in line, John didn't recognize me.  He had grown older and had already signed copies for hundreds of fans and had seen plenty of people dressed as zombies... posers.


He scribbled something on my copy of "Vampires", posed for a pic and then was on to the next fan.

I wasn't sure John remembered me or the donuts I kept fresh for the day.  But then, I read the inscription on the "Vampires" cover that he had written and almost wept.

It read: "To Phill. My lost love, forever and always. -John Carpenter."

Needless to say, this old zombie's heart started to beat for a second.  Even if John didn't say much, the man wrote a few words that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

Thanks, John. Next time, I'll bring some donuts.

-HSZ