Zombie Strippers!

We all know of the thousands of zombie films out there, some good, some terrible, and since Zombies have entered a comical genre of filmmaking, Shaun of the Dead would be a good example, so is the case for "Zombie Strippers".

The film is meant to be funny from the start; an outbreak on a military base causes a plague of zombies which the "military" fight off with the best weapons they have which look mostly like paint-ball gear.  One of the soldiers is infected and runs off to a strip club, which is where most men would go if infected with the Zombie Virus.

That soldier infects a stripper that slowly turns her into a zombie and it makes her more popular at the club, for some reason the patrons at this club have a secret passion for necrophilia.  One by one, the girls become infected and the story unfolds from there, ending in a gory gunfight.

Want a lap dance from a corpse?

"Zombie Strippers" is not the funniest zombie film ever made, but could be one of the sexiest.  Not to mention, it's gotRobert Englund, just because of that fact you should see the movie.

There are great things for zombie fans in "Zombie Strippers"; nudity, gore and gunfire.  While "Zombie Strippers" is not on its way to winning any Oscars, it will surely win a horde of zombie fans.

-HSZ

Getting Prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.

I'm always reminding the humans of this world to prepare themselves for the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse, the set-date has yet to be confirmed. (trying to get a group of Zombies to agree on anything can take generations)

So there is no better advice to give then to make sure all necessary preparations have been made.  I recommend reading "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks to get you started.  However, finding information on farming can be found in other forms of literature.

Recently, I came across the website www.inCaseofZombies.com where a small team in Tuscon, AZ have createdEmergency Kits, or "Zombie Defense Boxes", to be used  in case of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Sample product at InCaseofZombies.com

This little beauty looked like a sweet deal, going at $69.99 for this dual pistol set, but then I saw the orange tips of the guns and came to find out they were replicas.  I was really hoping they were real.  Don't worry, while the guns may be fake, the machetes and hunting knives are completely real.  Like this set:

While the $139.99 dollar price tag didn't sit too well for me, I still believe that these sets are going for a decent price.  Simply replace the toy guns with your own real weapons and you're set and ready to go.

While the weapons appear perfectly suitable for fighting off a bunch of UnDead Cannibalistic Monsters, some of the Emergency Health Packsconsisted of mostly sugary treats and energy drinks.  I do thinks humans may need a bit more than that.

While InCaseofZombies.com gives some great suggestions and puts your head in the right place, I leave it up to you to get your own provisions ready and let you make the decision of what you need for when the world goes to shit.  Just remember, as Tallahassee told us, "Twinkies do have an expiration date."

Which reminds me, send whatever help you can to make sure Tallahassee actor Woody Harrelson returns for "Zombieland 2". 

-HSZ

Art Appreciation

I've always enjoyed works of Art whether they be in paint, print, or on the television screen.  It doesn't matter who did the work, just as long as it captures your attention and evokes some sense of feeling.

There have been a lot pieces of artwork that can be found online, as well as anything else, and it wasn't too long ago that I friend of mine, artist Delfin Diaz who did some artwork for my first book, Prophecy On High, which I am trying to make available on Amazon.com.

Delfin just recently finished a piece, inspired by this UnDead Writer and I simply had to share it.

Hunter S. Zombie the Cartoon

What a fun piece.  Reminds me of the old Bloom County comic strip, which later became Outland, penned by talented artist Berkeley Breathed.

Honestly, I'd like to make a whole series of comics just based of these drawings alone.  That's how much Delfin Diaz has inspired me.

I hope you all find artwork that inspires you in the crazy world we live in.  Who knows? Maybe your work will inspire the next great artist which will continue to evoke others to create.  As much as you humans live separately, each action you commit has some effect on those around you, especially online where millions have access to it.

My only encouragement for you all is to inspire amazement and not tragedy.  Sometimes a little bit of hope can be found in the simplest things.  Even if you've written a book where zombies tear apart the world, that book may inspire the next great filmmaker to make a film where people put aside their differences and ban together for the common good.

...which most zombies books tend to do, but STILL.

Enjoy Art, my human friends as it is everywhere and tends to go unappreciated.


-HSZ

Kevin Smith uses Zombie Virus for Weight Loss

Zombies in Hollywood are nothing new.  We all know how much these attention-craving stars will do anything to keep their young looks about them.  Plastic surgery may appear to be the answer, but just take a look at some of the folks that have chosen to go under the knife:



Not a pretty picture in the long haul, so it would come as no surprise that celebrities are using any method they can get their hands on to keep their young sex appeal.  Some speculate that some of these famous folks have done everything from wacky diets to signing deals with the Devil.

I, however, know of a more realistic form that many of these Stars are diving into and that is a concentrated strain of the Zombie Virus.

The latest victim in this "Keep me Young" horde was the notable film directorKevin Smith.
It's no secret that Hollywood has been using strains of the Zombie Virus for some time.  Only the Hollywood elite were allowed to  partake in this, such asLarry King and his wife, as seen below:



You can't look at them and tell me with a straight face that they are not zombies.

Kevin Smith currently came on the radar after he was refused to board a Southwest flight because he was "too fat to fly."  This brought an uproar from the "Clerks" director and sent him into a depressive state that would kill any rational human being.

Recently, Smith reported that he had lost 65lbs in an effort to become more healthy.  What Smith didn't report was that his weight loss was mainly contributed to the Zombie Virus.

Taking regular injections with controlled medication, Marijuana, Smith has been able to pull off the farce that he lost the weight due a "healthier lifestyle".  We all know that once a Chunk, always a Chunk and old habits don't die that quickly.

Kevin Smith's Zombie-state will only increase and grow worse, being unable to do any public appearances and preventing him from directing any more films.

Had we all wished that Smith would have lost weight the correct way with proper diet and exercise, Hollywood doesn't wait and neither could he.

When the Zombie Apocalypse comes Smith will definitely do what he does best, pig out on the entrails of Ben Affleck.


-HSZ

Cold Weather brought on by Zombies!

A major cold front has showered over the US this past week, bringing on a harsh winter that many weren't expecting.

The NY Times reported on how this cold blizzard that was effecting the people of Texas;
“Our temperatures rarely stay this cold for this long,” said Bill Bunting, the meteorologist in charge at the National Weather Service office in Fort Worth.


Other reports came in on how this freezing weather has grown across the Midwest, South and West parts of the country. Many have been blanketed in layers of snow and ice due to two low pressured storms that collided.

But there is something bigger here that Uncle Sam isn't telling us.  This harsh weather was brought on by Zombies.

I have read several reports about Oil Companies wanting to drill in Antarctica and have wanted to since the 1950's, but have been unsuccessful. Mainly because Antarctica is constantly moving and suffers severe conditions, it is deemed impossible to place a drilling facility on.

Many large companies have even toyed with the idea of dumping nuclear waste on Antarctica, but have been stopped by environmental agencies.

Or so they thought.

I have confirmed reports that Big Oil has already had it's slimy hands on the frozen Landscape since before theScientific Committee on Antarctic Research (SCAR) was founded.   That's right, Big Oil is drilling in Antarctica and has been dumping their waste along the way to help fund extra expenses brought on by working in -57º weather and 100 mph winds.

This created the perfect brew for a catastrophe.  Workers at the drilling site faced immediate danger as the strong winds and cold climate froze the Drill, causing the motor to explode and send thousands of gallons of crude oil to mix with the toxic waste that was dumped nearby.

Big Oil thought that it would be an easy clean up, just bury it all in the snow, but they discovered that their workers were not dead, but infected and transformed by the lethal combination of chemicals.

This waste and drilling is finally reaching our shores, speeding up the warm climate changes and melting the ice caps quicker than expected. Terrible Zombie reports are coming in from all across the US, including Alaska.  Here's a pic someone sent me of how bad the tragedy has hit the Arctic Circle.


Santa woulda been proud of this little guy.  Dead and half eaten and still he continues on.

My suggestion to all of you is to stay away from the beaches and keep yourselves indoors.  This cold won't freeze the UnDead and if you're not careful, you'll easily become one of us.


-HSZ

Left 4 Dead I & II: Zombies Killing Zombies

I’m usually not one for advocating the mass destruction of my fellow zombie brethren, but I understand the human will of survival and the need to train yourself in case of the impending Zombie Apocalypse.  This is why a string of video games are based solely on getting your trigger finger ready and two such games are Left 4 Dead I & II.
I had never shown that great of an interest in video games, although I did enjoy Pong, and this is mainly due to my decomposing nature that causes my thumbs to break off.  However, a friend of mine talked me into sitting down and playing a few rounds, so I dove in.

Left 4 Dead is pretty basic in storyline, four survivors left alive in a zombie apocalypse and they are shooting their way out to salvation.  Just like Jesus would want you to do.  Zombies either stand by idly, easy to kill, or they attack you in hordes, ripping you and your allies apart.
For the most part, the game stays at a  certain level of difficulty and you are able to make your way through pretty easily.  Some other game reviewswere pretty harsh on this aspect.
Left 4 Dead 2, however, bombards you with hordes of zombies at every turn.  In L4D 1 you can fight off the horde with the aid of the other survivors, but if you pause for one second in L4D 2 you might as well drop your gun and feed the masses.

Cut through Zombies with a Chainsaw

The worst campaign for me was the Carnival because I kept stopping to kill zombies on the rollercoaster.  Unlike L4D1, you get me-lee weapons in 2 and can slice, hack or smash zombies continuously without the weapon ever breaking.  Yet, the best advice for surviving L4D 2 is simple, RUN.
So if you are a gamer and enjoy killing zombies by the hundreds then Left 4 Dead I&II were made just for you.  Enjoy it while you can because when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, and it will come, bullets and canned foods will only last you so long. Sooner or later, you’ll be one of us.
-HSZ