Banner

Banner

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Alzheimer's and the Zombie Virus


Dead and Hating It

Is it Alzheimer's or the early stages of the Zombie Virus?

For those of you who are not knowledgeable about Alzheimer's, here's a quick overview:
"Dementia is a loss of brain function that occurs with certain diseases. Alzheimer's disease (AD), is one form of dementia that gradually gets worse over time. It affects memory, thinking, and behavior.


Memory impairment, as well as problems with language, decision-making ability, judgment, and personality, are necessary features for the diagnosis."



"Yer not my son, yer a Commie!"

Sound familiar?  It is if you ever seen any zombie film ever made into existence, is sure does.

A recent CNN report, "When Alzheimer's turns violent", by Madison Park, overviews several incidents where people diagnosed with the disease had suddenly turned violent and insane.

While they bumble for a "cure" what they really need to be doing is accepting the fact that these elderly folks are slowly turning into zombies.

Most people will tell you that the only way to cure someone from becoming a zombie is to destroy the brain/head.  But if you can't shoot grandma because you remember how she always made you cookies after school, this can be a bit difficult.

What medical experts should be doing is separating these "future zombies" from the rest of the "un-infected" and lock them in a scientific lab for testing.  If they do not, we could very well be facing the onset of the Zombie Apolcalypse.

Until then, make sure grandma is safely tied up in the backyard, shed or garage.  Just make sure she's in no position to bite anyone.


McCain tries to infect Obama



-HSZ

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

La Horde and the French Zombie Revolution


A fist full of french fries

La Horde, or The Horde, is a French zombie thriller where a group of gangsters and corrupt cops join together after "The End of the World" takes place and is overrun by ravenous zombies.
There's a list of French zombie films, here's one, that have been claimed as a huge step forward for the zombie genre, and some that are dragging it back to the grave.

Being a zombie, and fan of zombie films, La Horde does not disappoint in the realm of gore and madness.  Some corny lines, one-sided characters and shotguns that never seem to run out of shells, does take away from the reality that filmmakers Yannick Dahan and Benjamin Rocher are trying to create.

While La Horde is not the worst zombie film in the world, it's also not the best.

Sometimes actions of the characters don't seem to make sense.  The lead and only female character suddenly decides to take off her body armor and run around the place with only a tank top on that accents her nipples.


Zombies? Hold on, let me show my nipples

I don't know about you, but if I were human and a horde of zombies were coming after me, I would not make the job easy for 'em.  Hell, I'd wear a set of chainmail if it didn't slow me down.

The film does depict a certain sense of indecency that thrives in the human race; a few of the males harass and beat on a female zombie as if participating in a gang rape.  Once again, raising the question, Who are the real monsters in this film?

...Well, it's still the zombies, technically.


Which one to shoot first...

While some will go on to criticize La Horde for pages on end, I, as well as a few others, will simply tell you that the film is well worth seeing, especially if you're a zombie fan.  The lighting, music and action are all well done and there's plenty of blood to go around.  This film is just one more step forward for filmmakers in Europe, displaying French's finest talent in the world of horror.

All I can assure you is that, at one point or another, your hair will stand on end... as well as your nipples.

-HSZ

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

How Zombies Work



Even Zombies need exercise

There's alot of websites out there about zombies; some focus on their sceintific aspectswhile others relish in the myth and folklore that is constantly changing in filmbooks andtelevision.

One website I would not think to see zombies discussed is the famed website How Stuff Works.com.
Usually a place for kids to understand how motor vehicles, electricity, plants and a variety of other procedures and processes work, all meant for the young and growing mind, seeing a page for "How Zombies Work" was a great delight to come across.

The page is an absolute wonder, focusing on the facts of Zombies, including the studies done by ethnobotanist and anthropologist Dr. Wade Davis.  His exploits in Haiti, covering the actual proof that zombies can exist, was made into a film entitled, "The Serpent and the Rainbow" with Bill Pullman.

While many still refute the facts and evidence Davis found, scientific evidence was still located, proving that zombies could exist, mainly due to a powder that is rubbed into the skin and gives the person the characteristics of being dead.

Regardless, this is one of the biggest case study of zombies that is actually proven, though debatable.  However, the fact that the human race is still in denial about zombies being in existence is unsettling.

For some reason, the only time the humans of this world will actually believe in the reality of zombies will not be until we are covering the Earth and eating their brains.   It's sad that it will take a hammer to the head for the point to get across, but hey, that just leaves those of us that are UnDead a great advantage for when the Zombie Apocalypsecomes.

I don't know about the rest of the zombies out there, but I already got a list of people I can't wait to eat.  Ryan Seacrest is gonna die a horrible death!


-HSZ

HSZ on Facebook

Sunday, March 27, 2011

World War Z Movie Hits Bump


Could it be that the production of, possibly, the greatest zombie film ever to be made has been halted?
That is the question that has been spread about the web recently, about the upcoming film version of Max Brooks', World War Z.

The film, set to star Brad Pitt in the lead, has hit a blockade as funding has become a problem in the film business.  (I don't see why as Hollywood always seems to the front the money for crappy films.)


Paramount is seeking a business partner to help fund the film, according to reports fromVulture.  Pitt is still signed on, but that may not be enough to save the film.


Can he save the Zombie Film of the Century?

To say it plainly folks, World War Z may not ever be made into a film.  The script will get buried in the "Lost Ark" warehouses that are located in the back of all film studios.

While people are hoping the movie will still go through, unforeseen circumstances may be putting this zombie movie to sleep forever without the possibility of re-animation.

Until then, we'll just have hope, pray and sacrifice small animals until Paramount grows some balls and gives the green-light for World War Z: The Movie.


-HSZ
Check me on Facebook

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Japan's Nuclear Zombies


As you may already know, Japan was hit by a horrible tsunami recently, followed by powerful earthquakes that have brought Kesennuma City in Miyagi Prefecture, north-eastern Japan, to its knees.

The Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant suffered from the quake terribly with 3 nuclear reactors in fear of meltdown.  Working in rubble and in dangerous conditions, the people of Japan scramble to fix the problem, using all means to cool the reactors.
While this tragedy is hard to stomach, I have come across reports that indicate none of this happened by accident.  Japan's own Emperor Akihito is planning to build his own Zombie Army.
Japanese citizens are being scanned and probed as we speak, making sure that the most infected be put directly into boot camp.


Get 'em while they're young

The poor people of Japan have been submitted to harsh radioactive poison and struggled for aid.  But the Emperor was not about to let his plan go to waste.  He hadradioactive materials placed in the city's water supply, so now everyone is susceptible to the onset symptoms of the Zombie Virus.

Soon, the good people of Japan will be eating each other alive, tearing away at the fragile structure that they know live in.


Japan's Army is no match for an Army of the Dead

After reading about how S. Korea is building an army race of zombiesEmperor Akihitodemanded that he have his own to keep up with the power race.


The Zombie Emperor

For years, Japanese scientists have been test a variety of subjects, trying to create a "Samurai Zombie" that will prove victorious in battle.  Only will they bow to the whims of Zombie Emperor Akihito.

People fear Japan's radiation will leak to the coast of California, infecting the west coast of the United States and bringing an onslaught of zombie destruction.

I'm here to tell you first, folks, that it's already in the works.  People in California are already reporting "strange conditions" of various TV and movie stars from Los Angeles.


He's not on cocaine...he's a zombie.

If you humans are not more careful, the Zombie Apocalypse will soon be upon you and that "2012" movie will look like a walk in the park.  And if you still don't think aZombie Apocalypse is possible, here's 5 reasons that may change your mind.


-HSZ

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Charlie Sheen is a Zombie


Rising of the UnDead Charlie

You've seen the news coverage, interviews and other multitudes of media, showing us the detailed deterioration of Charlie Sheen.

This master thespian had been currently caught up in a world-wind of bullshit, brought on by the cancellation of his show, Two and a Half Men.

While people speculate drugs, alcohol, bi-polar disorder (Charlie claims he's bi-winning) and other reasons for Sheen's behavior they tread over the real fact.

Charlie Sheen is a Zombie.

I took the liberty of trying to find photographic evidence of Sheen without all the Hollywood Make-up, here is what I discovered:




This Man eats the other One and a Half

captured by Rob Sacchetto

As you know from my previous writings, The Zombie Virus has been a trade secret of the Hollywood stars, just look at Shatner, he's 80 for chrissake, but you'd never know it.

Now, I have just recently come across reports that the infected Sheen is planning a national tour.  To do what?  He's Charlie Sheen.  What's he's gonna do, old bits from Hot Shots?

No, my dear friends, Sheen plans to infect every last American with his strain of the Zombie Virus and this tour gives him the perfect opportunity to bring the masses to him.

Stay clear of these events folks, unless you crave infection and being turned into a mindless zombie.  Not all who are infected are like me folks, I was born with the Zombie Virus and have adapted an immunity where my body deteriorates and regenerates at the same time.  I occasionally loose a finger, but nothing I can't sew back on.

Old Sheen here, this guy didn't know what he was getting himself into.  But the ideas of internal youth took hold of his better judgement and now he's out to infect the world and officially kick-off the Zombie Apocalypse.


-HSZ

Monday, March 21, 2011

First Book Sold! Help me sell 1,000!

by Hunter S Zombie
My first breakthrough novel, Prophecy on High, just sold its first copy on Kindle.

Being sold exclusively in the Kindle marketplace, this novel is a haunting and dark tale, filled with artwork by artists, Delfin Diaz and Mary Edwards.

Let me tell you a little bit about this book:
----
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith became a best-seller, as didThe Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z by Max Brooks.  You may have read books about zombies, but you’ve never read one written by a zombie.

Hunter S. Zombie, the undead persona, brings forth his dark and thrilling tale about a recovering addict that becomes targeted by two vicious gangs.

Based on a number of interviews done for a news article about methamphetamine addicts, Hunter S. Zombie scraped the article and compiled the stories into a novel he calls, Prophecy on High.  The first in a series of books entitled, The Haze Heaven Chronicles.

The story follows Joseph Marten, a lost soul that escapes into the euphoric city known as Haze Heaven and finds himself at the bottom of it.  Burrowed into the shadows of the city’s decrepit east side, Joseph tries to claw his way out of the city and discovers a young woman, Rosa Sanchez, whose heading in the same direction.

But in just four days, Joseph will find himself half-alive, imprisoned and standing over the murdered corpse of his best friend.

Looming with haunting illustrations by artists Delfin Diaz and Mary Edwards, Prophecy on High is a thrilling tale that disturbs the darkest depths of the human mind and brings it to life.
-----
I put a lot of blood, sweat and busted fingers to make this book possible and this zombie is happy with his work.

In all honesty, it's a cool book with a lot of great art, think Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and while I search for a publisher to work on releasing a printed version, all you internet folks and smartphone holders can see the novel as it was meant to be seen.

My goal is to sell 1,000 copies and I need you to make that happen.

Stop by and download your copy today! You'll be glad you did!

Thanks for reading.

-HSZ


Download Yours Today!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Medieval Times run by Zombies!


Zombies treating the servants like servants.

Knights, jousting, sword fighting and eating food with your hands; Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament have been bringing the magic of the middle ages to folks all across the United States. (mainly in the Eastern part) If you've never heard of one or been to one, watch Cable Guy.

Folks dressed in puffy shirts, corsets and long tights will make you a drink, bring you a chicken, and sell you some overpriced crappy toys (seriously, the toy  prices are so high, Disney is jealous).  All while you sit and watch two guys in sparkly tights and fancy football gear, swat at each other with swords, axes and the like.  A great time for the whole family.

But, what you don't know is that the "serfs and wenches" of Medieval Times are actually treated like serfs and wenches.  Reports state that Medieval Times "stiffs workers out of pay, doesn’t provide meal and rest breaks, makes them pay for their uniforms and equipment, and makes them work off the clock." According to the Class Action Lawsuit filed against Medieval Times in Buena Park, CA, written by Kimberly Mirando.

You can read a copy of the filed lawsuit here.

This is no isolated incident.  I have received reports that Medieval Times is doing this in every castle across the United States.

And Why?  Why treat a bunch of hard working performers so poorly?  Just for mere profit?  Apparently, Medieval Times President and CEO, Kenneth Kim, believes in bringing the harsh labor traditions of the East to the West.

But that's not all he's bringing.

Kenneth Kim is, also, a Zombie.

See, Kenneth Kim used to work for the Chevron Corp., the big oil dealer, where he attracted the virus while overseeing production of a "super gasoline" that Chevron was developing to get better gas mileage out of every gallon, regardless of engine size.  A scientist, infected with the Zombie Virus, fainted while mixing two very dangerous chemicals.

The experiment went array, creating an explosion. The Infected Scientist created a gas poison set into the air, that infected Kenneth, as well as the other scientists in the lab.  We already know of Big Oil's involvement with the zombie virus and Kenneth is on the bandwagon.



"All Hail, Kenneth."

This man is infecting members of his upper-management team and making them Slave Drivers, causing them to treat all employees as Zombies, giving them little pay, forcing them to work long hours and belittling their self-worth.


This atrocity needs to be stopped and Kenneth Kim needs to be placed in prison immediately, before he infects the rest of the world.

As more reports surface of their abuse, I am almost sure that Medieval Times may start putting something "rather interesting" into their chicken seasonings, and it ain't basil.


-HSZ